What’s next? That question seems to be a constant in my life. It is hard to get it off of repeat on the playlist in my mind. Whatever circumstance or season I am in, somewhere lurking in the shadows is that question, whispering its uncertain yet weighty presence in my ear. I’ve even found myself asking others, “What’s next?” I realize how unfair of me it is to ask others the very question I struggle with the most at times; so if you have heard this question from me and felt beset with anxiousness as a result, I sincerely apologize. I don’t know why this question is such a constant for me, but it is. Somehow, in one of the best times of my life, a season in which I finally feel as though I’m stepping into what I was made to do, I hear the uncertain and heavy words being whispered in my ear, “what’s next?” It’s a question that I know won’t go away, regardless of where I am at or what I am doing in life. And I don’t believe it is always a negative question either. So if you have ever asked it to me before, please don’t feel bad. I think it is good to have direction, to make appropriate plans for the future. It would be foolish not to.
In fact I believe it is a vital question to continually ask myself in relation to my walk with Jesus. I don’t want to get stagnant or slip into a state of atrophy with my faith, so it is extremely important to maintain vision as we walk with the Lord. And part of vision is to know the direction we are moving in.
But this question, “What’s next?” that whispers in my ear is different. It seems to carry with it the burdensome dilemma that I am somehow in a dangerous and precarious state if I don’t have my entire future planned out. Our culture almost seems to demand it of us. We have to have life insurance and death insurance, car insurance and home insurance, health insurance and financial insurance. Everything has to have a back-up plan in our society. Fear of the “what if’s” plague our society. It is a constant struggle for me not to fall victim to this mindset. Again, I’m not saying insurance policies are bad; they are smart. But I’m also realizing that life with Jesus doesn’t always equate with our standard insurance policy lifestyle of our modern day and age.
I’m beginning to understand that life with Him means I have direction and vision, it means I can see the step in front of me, but it doesn’t always mean I get to see anything more than that. In fact, at least in my experience, it has meant that all I ever really get to see is the step in front of me—no more, no less, just one step at a time. This doesn’t always go over well when trying to explain your future plans to a concerned party. But I guess it doesn’t matter. Jesus has faithfully led me thus far, so why would I expect Him to do any less in the future?
As uncertain as my future seems at times, I’m choosing (for today at least) to rest in the certainty that Jesus sees where I cannot and He will navigate me safely to my destiny.